Lean Out before you can comfortably Lean In

Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash

You can not have something new without change.


Change is the agent that facilitated me to “Lean In” as a Writer.

You must make room to Lean In, and that action starts with Lean Out, first.

I have been on my writer’s journey for some time, with little success.

That all changed when I made several time management related changes. Today I have time to be successful and a plan to make it happen.

We all have the same time to deal with our wants allotted in seconds, minutes, hours, days, week, months, and years. No idea on the total amount of each.

We have some regular things to do in our live and more distractions than we know what to do with.


One of my major distractions was my generosity.

My problem is that I am a generous person, and sometimes to a fault. Recently one night I had a dream that explained to me I need to focus and stop trying to be the one that helps everyone else, and in doing so shortchanged myself from doing what I want. And what I want to do is write every day. I now write most day and working on the publishing daily. In the dream I said “NO”, walked away, and it felt good.

The last ten years I have spent 85 percent of my time and a fair amount of money helping others. In the beginning, it was rewarding. As time went on, it seemed to feel not right, but I continued helping others. Over time, I would make changes that helped me.

I have a background in technology. Anyone who has a background in technology will tell you that when someone knows that you know technology, you have an increase in the best friend department. Because you can solve technology problems, even if you are not familiar with the technology. You can because you think it through or search for the answer. Most of the new best friends could not wait and need my attention, NOW.

Carving out the time to write can be difficult, especially with distractions, but not impossible. You just must visualize that you are a writer and then execute on your plan. It took some time, but I arrived.


My Lean Out journey.

In early 2019 we decided we would move from Northern Nevada to Northern California. Some might ask why? My wife of 30 years and I grew up in California. We like the weather and seasons. We like closer ocean access. When in the Bay Area, it was a 30-minute drive to the beaches in Santa Cruz. In Northern California, now the beaches are 3 hours away, we can be patient.

I applied for a job, interviewed, and was close to accepting a job offer. A week before the interview we agreed to foster a 6-month-old Doberman whose human parents were going through a spat, they eventually split up. We agreed to this arrangement for 6 months. With regular check-ins to assure ourselves this would not be a long-term commitment.


Stuff gets in the way, but patience will get you to the finish line.

We all want it now or in two days, but sometimes, more times than not, that is not how it works out.

By April 2019, I started dissolving business relationships and transferring current business support to another local business. December 31, 2019 was the last day I was going to provide Technology Advice and Support.

The job interview I believed went so well, I was sure the job was mine. But with a 6-month-old Doberman in the same home with an older Doberman leaving my wife while being out of town for weeks at a time, did not seem to be the thing to do. So, I emailed the interview and told them I accepted another job. That job was to be available to help my wife with the fostering of a six-month-old Doberman, 70 pounds, mind you.

By early November 2019, the foster fur kid was back with his mom only. The couple did not make their relationship work. The fur kid’s Mom moved on with life.

https://medium.com/seniorcitizenwriters/fur-kids-clyde-he-is-growing-up-and-slowly-growing-out-of-puppy-hood-68ee6c7f4423


The moving process started.

We announced we are moving by the end of the year. There were three people interested in purchasing our home. We would discount the price if there was no need to go through a Realtor. The first interested person dropped off the list within several weeks. The second one was there for months; it was always something. They were newlyweds and after 3–4 months they would not make it as a couple and dropped off the list of possibilities. The third couple at first were sure, then kept the home he had for years.

We decided that by the third week in January, if nothing materialized further from any interested buyer, we would list our home for an additional $30,000 to cover Real Estate fees. Two days before Christmas 2019, the last interested buyers emailed saying they were going to purchase our home for the agreed amount.

They had someone interested in their home for cash 30 day close, with a rent back. They were doing a VA with no money down. This would take longer, and we were ok with it because we had no specific timeline.


A Rental Home at the new location was the way to go.

We had moved from the Bay Area to the Seattle Area in 1998 and moved into a rental while they listed our home. That made sense since it was a corporate move and most of our stuff was in storage, no cost to us. This lasted 5 or 6 months. Seems painless, and so we repeated that process.

I made several trips to the new area, looking for rentals. I scouted out storage facilities to store most of our belongings while in the rental. I referred to the rental as a temporary campsite.

From November 2019 to January 2020, I moved our belongings in 5 trips from Northern Nevada to Northern California. The trips comprised 5 fully loaded U-Haul trucks with a car hauler and my vehicle on the hauler. The first three trips were to move our belongings into three different self-storage units. We ended up with 2 30×10 units, and one climate controlled 15×12 for furniture items.

We secured a rental January 31, 2020 and completed the move near the end of February when our home sale closed.


Looking at listing began soon after moving into the rental.

Soon after getting moved in, the COVID-119 Pandemic started. We continued to review listings, even driving by many homes to look at the outside of the home and the location.

We found one home in April and made an offer at full price. Turns out someone else wanted the home way more because they offered $20,000 over asking price.

By now we must have reviewed 20 listings as potential homes for us. Visited 8, with a not go, too much work remodeling each to make it the one for us.

Then we found one that we liked, and we took a looked inside and out. Make an offer for less than listed because it needed work. The owners countered, and we walked. Days later, the listing agent called our agent and said they would accept whatever offer we wanted. After some thought, we submitted offered at the same price. And closed in 6 weeks. We were pre-approved, and they already purchased a home out of state. The process went exceptionally smooth.


The home makeover begins and phase one is complete.

The exterior of this home was predominantly brick and attractively finished. They built the home 30 years ago. The interior was dated and soon after closing we began a remodel close to what you would see on home improvement shows. My wife has viewed many more than I and knew exactly what she wanted. There were some surprised for me along the way, but we got it all completed by Dec 3, 2020. We move in in early October 2020, while parts of the remodeling were still underway.

The article below highlight four of the tradesperson who help us during our home remodel.

https://medium.com/seniorcitizenwriters/fur-kids-clyde-he-is-growing-up-and-slowly-growing-out-of-puppy-hood-68ee6c7f4423


January 2021

I have completed the plans to lean out, enabling me to give full attention to “Lean In” to the next phase of my life as a writer.

I plan to spend all the days 2021, and most if not all publishing.

I accomplish my transition to a full-time writer by first recognizing what was happening in my life, know what I wanted, and then making the change get to where I want to be in life.

Next progress report in February 2021.

To we written soon.

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