There’s an unspoken truth that’s often left unsaid: it’s not what people say, but what they don’t say that matters most. We’ve all been in a conversation where we can sense that something is off, but we can’t quite put our finger on it. This is because the person we’re talking to is withholding the truth – whether intentionally or not.
Withholding the truth can take many forms. It can be something as small as leaving out key details in a story, or it can be something as major as lying about your qualifications. But regardless of the form it takes, withholding the truth is always harmful. It creates barriers to communication
The unspoken truth is important because it allows us to fill in the gaps and get a fuller picture of what’s going on. It also allows us to see past the words to the intention behind them. By understanding the unspoken truth, we can communicate more effectively and build better relationships.
“I do not recall” can also be a trigger that there is information missing from the conversation.
The unspoken truth about words
We all know that words are important. They’re how we communicate our thoughts and feelings, and they’re how we connect with others. But sometimes, it’s not the words themselves that are important, but what’s left unsaid.
For example, let’s say you’re talking to a friend who’s just been through a breakup. They might tell you that they’re “fine”, but their tone of voice and body language will tell you that they’re anything but. In this case, it’s not the words that they’re saying that matter, but what they’re not saying. By reading between the lines, we can see that they’re hurt and upset, even if they don’t want to admit it.
Of course, there are times when words can be misleading. Someone might say they’re “fine” when they’re very upset, in an attempt to downplay their emotions. Or they might say they agree with you, even if they don’t. In these cases, it’s important to pay attention to what’s not being said, to understand the real message.
The unspoken truth about actions
Similarly, actions can often speak louder than words. If someone says one thing but does another, it’s probably because their actions are more in line with their true thoughts and feelings.
For example, let’s say your boss tells you that your work is “great”, but then gives you a small pay increase. In this case, their actions are telling you that they don’t think your work is as great as they say. Likewise, if someone regularly cancels plans with you or is always busy when you try to plan, their actions are telling you that you’re not a priority in their life.
Of course, actions can also be misleading. Someone might cancel plans with you because they have a genuinely pressing engagement, or they might be busy because they’re working on a big project. In these cases, it’s important to ask questions and get clarification, to understand the real meaning behind the actions.
The unspoken truth about relationships
Relationships are built on trust, which means that being able to communicate openly and honestly is essential. But sometimes, people withhold the truth in relationships out of fear of judgment or rejection. This can lead to distance and disconnection, as well as misunderstandings and conflict.
For example, let’s say you have a friend who is dealing with depression. They might not tell you about it because they don’t want you to worry or think less of them. Or let’s say you have a colleague who is dealing with personal problems at home. They might not tell you about it because they don’t want you to think they can’t handle their work. In both cases, the unspoken truth is causing distance in the relationship.
The unspoken truth about life
Life is full of surprises – both good and bad. And oftentimes, it’s the bad surprises that we try to avoid by withholding the truth. We do this because we don’t want to face the reality of our situation, or because we don’t want to burden others with our problems. But ultimately, this only makes things worse.
For example, let’s say you lose your job unexpectedly. You might not tell your family or friends because you don’t want them to worry or feel sorry for you. But eventually, the truth will come out – and by then, it will be too late for them to offer their support or help.